High Ground

I have discovered the side of me that I have been missing all along, which was the ability to take pride in my individuality and sex appeal. I used to be so cocky and confident, unshakable-sensational! No matter my words or my hairstyle I rocked it with style and grace! I was determined to be me and no one could touch my freedom. I remember that spirited teenaged girl who was always a leader never afraid to speak her mind and without fear. I never doubted myself nor let the opinion of others stifle my spirit. I thanked God for hearing my call tonight because so did two of my best friends, Liza and Kandis, and they both spoke the sweetest words. Reminding me that I am powerful and super special and who I am supposed to be to others. I have been afraid to be Amy. Because of a past built on being discouraged and disapproved of, labeled, and at times intolerable. I felt so insecure and ashamed of what I had become. At first, it was the opinion of friends and family that I feared, but then I discovered that my son’s outlook should be my main concern, realizing the gold at the end of my rainbow, but denying that I deserve better than the past I’ve been lost to; all of the self-destruction and danger I imposed on myself as well as others, the concern and the stress that I caused, and then with the grace of God , I realized that I am still here: With my family, and with my friends. And there must surely be a God because I have a beautiful life! I have a son and husband who love me very much, and I feel empowered and compelled to forgive myself so I can be the mother and wife that they deserve me to be! I have parents who should feel proud of the person I am and furthermore I know there is most definitely a God, because damn it I am still here!! I’m going to revive the golden spirit of the baddest, sexiest, sweetest woman I am beneath all the fog! My gift to the world around me is to simply be the spirit God intended me to be: Encouraging, thoughtful, considerate, respectful, supportive, friendly, and free. I am at my best when I am simply just myself, inspirational and unencumbered!
-Soul of Aly

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