I realized today my ability to delve into writing and just let go and let the words take over and flow. I wrote about what today brought forth, but imagine if I wrote about something with some sustenance or about an incident that occurred or I witnessed? I had forgotten what it was like to write. There are so many things to speak about. I need to get them out of my head to release the pressure that has built up inside me, choking the very life I desperately tried to lead. So many people, for so many years, have spoken about how powerful my writing can be and how I need to pursue a career in writing whether it be a book or a blog, or a note. I always used to think I had no talent, but I do have a purpose! I am worth something! I actually have real talent, I do! There are people who I haven’t even touched yet with the wisdom, inspiration, and experience that I have. There really is something to what all those people have been telling me since I was 14 years old, but I chose to party and walk down a different path of destruction when what I should have done was nurture and foster my gift and prepare to share with people around me and maybe even the world! I could have been nurturing and fostering my gift, but no use and dwelling in the past because God has me right where he wants me. Who knows where I could have been by now, had I chosen to walk down the other path? But I had to go through trials and tribulations to arrive at the present moment. And because I inflicted so much turmoil in my life and to those around me, I am able to grow and learn from my past in hopes to share my pain with someone who may be suffering from the same insanity, and those who may be headed down the wrong road may hear my story and decide to travel on the other path. My only desire is for God’s will to flow through me and within me so that I’m able to do his work and be the best version of myself, and not just for me, but for my family, especially my son with whom I pray will break the cycle and not develop the same nasty behaviors that I was not fortunate enough to withstand in my younger years. I know now that in order for me to guide my son through greener pastures I must truly be the unselfish mother I am learning to be.
-Soul of Aly