Empty

A dream this evening woke me up to a rising emotional frustration.
I thought that I could be immune to the love that I have for you.
I can’t find the strength to let go, obviously.
Even though I try.
You are still lying in my subconscious waiting to jump out and be free.
The way your hands felt in your arms wrapped around me Is something that I cannot and will not replace.
I doubt I’ll ever be able to make amends for my previous actions, but I don’t mind because beside me was my pride.
Everything I did I did for happiness.
A comfort I long for, came to me whenever you were near, but I am stuck now between right and wrong.
I want to let you in, but my pride binds the doors closed.
I am a loose cannon ready to explode.
I have to let myself out of the trap I’m caught in before I am able to make a decision about love entering the chambers of my soul.
Once I am certain I am ready that love will find me I will let you in.
-Soul of Aly

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