My mind is a beautiful chaos

I’ll never let you see me cry.
The pain behind my eyes is hidden whenever I approach you.
I don’t fear you.
I fear for myself, for losing myself.
I don’t love you like I thought I did.
I loathe you.
I gave you I sensuality, my sexuality
I gave in.
I am in so much denial of what you’ve actually done to me.
When our bodies collide our passion seems almost surreal.
I want you to find me.
I wish you could change your idiotic behaviors.
If I never saw you again it would be too soon.
You’ve discovered too much insecurity in me.
And in the same conversation, you realized my purity.
I hate that you can bring me to my knees.
I am so disgusted and furious that I doubted our relationship.
If it’s in the stars, you will come again.
If there is no hope,
there’s no reason to be strong.
-Soul of Aly