My mind is a beautiful chaos

Prick my soul and let the pain trickle out.
Bring joy, peace, and good things to my life.
Open my eyes.
Push the salty water aside.
Widen my hopes.
Make happiness available.
Try to see my anger.
Not only with the world, but with myself, for all the hurt I’ve caused to so many people.
No enjoyable thoughts in my webbed mind.
The lusty dreams I have of myself and others bring ornery smiles to my face, but no warmth to my body.
Seeking wonderful memories.
I often feel the laughter and warmth I felt back then.
But like spoken before, only memories.
None present.
Take me afar.
Wash me in holy water.
Purify me within.
Then I shall be in goodwill and good company.
-Soul of Aly