My mind is a beautiful chaos

I wish you were here to see me suffer through anxiety buildup.
I’ve got my nails painted red, my eyes colored black.
Pencil traced, but no secrets revealed.
Skeleton bones, fatty tissue, muscles clenching.
Breathe in, breathe out.
I’m out of my mind, but full of gasoline.
Burn baby burn for the torment I’ve found.
Every second I’m alive, I’m alive, but numb.
Give me back my heart so that I can pass it along to another.
It must be lovely to feel the sunshine instead of bitter cold wind.
It’s just the price you pay when you let someone other than yourself rule your world.
-Soul of Aly