My mind is a beautiful chaos

Oh the wonders of the heart! The feelings, pumping in and out.
I feel the laughter of my grandmother; and the static cling, when she hugged me in the winter. Her soft winter clothing, the sense of humanity in her voice, and all of her advice. Oh, the taunting it is now to be without her, but she is so happy, it is hard to wish her back. I know she must feel the sunshine she casts on me every day in her new life, the brightness of her rainbow, and I think of the days she waved that goodbye flag to us. The last talk we had. Oh, she lay in the glow of God’s love. The burning of the serpent and the sun. And when she comes to play out in the yard, when she’s here with me in my heart, whether she’s driving with me or lying next to me, holding me when I am lonely. And I am still under her advice, and I know that I have it always. It had the ingredients of creating an infant or a glorious life but had been there all along. Someone to watch over me, someone to lean on.

-Soul of Aly